John Smith

When the fighting stops
And I can breathe
Gratitude fills the interstices
Of my soul
Past the noisy intersections
Where he chooses death
You are brave
Choosing change
Yet when will change come?
It isn't here yet
If you look into my eyes
You will see grief
It's time we moved on
Thank you for loving me
Looking after me
While I wait
Calculating
Pondering
Planning
Hoping
Not wanting to share
My children
If one is sick
And I'm far away
Being tied up
And happy
How can I choose happiness
When I'm still needed
To talk about boys
Or tuck him in at night
Or put a washcloth on his forehead
Aching
How can I not think about the future?
That which hasn't happened yet.
I have seen the future
And I know what needs to be done.