Monitoring Manners

When you told me you loved me
I believed you
My heart sang
Songs of truth
Freedom
And affirmation
Now I'm lost again
Feeling abandoned
Undeserving
And unhappy
My dreams continue to perish
Like drops of blood
Upon the filthy rats
I'm at my wit's end
How many times did I hear it?
The nursery rhyme at my mother's feet
Summoning some power
Deep within
Changing
Prophecies  must do their bidding
So I can survive.

Never Underestimate

In the stillness of the night
After everyone is asleep--
The cicadas and frogs
Crickets and larks--
And I am alone
I think of you
And your touch
Having the power
To transform
Right before your very own eyes
And the funny thing is
You go through life
Wanting affirmation
And love almost more than me
Searching
Never quite finding what
You're looking for
Dinners and parties
Always on the go
Attracting sirens
And women
Who do everything right
You've been there
Done that
And here I am
Isolated
As no human should be
Craving a smile
A hug
A massage
A foot rub
Someone to sit next to
Hold my hand
Look into my eyes
And fall in love
And now that I'm here
I'm afraid
You're too afraid
To explore the possibilities.

Take Me Home

Permeating the River Delta
With catfish in my mouth
You slink along Eudora ' s path
Worn
Slavery
Segregation
Civil rights
Poverty
King Cotton is a sprouting
To the distinct voices
And cries
I hear the blues
In rollicking juke joints
Along that same Mississippi River
Where I was born
Collard greens
Fried okra
Neck bones
Emmet Till cries again
From the graves of injustice
There's more to come
But I'm too tired
To read Falkner tonight
We march on Saturday.

Getting Technical

Soft voices
Fluid movement
Improvisation
Devotion to you
The capstone awaits
Managing conflict
Embracing change
Anticipating love
Individualized attention
Maximizing the distance
Calmly dynamic
Our successful ensemble
Exploring all over
Imaginations
In slow motion
Becoming aware
The way you look
The way you think
The way you feel
Moving
From the death trap to you
Applications encouraged
Apply early.

Faint Smiles

Behind her closed eyes
An infinite number
Of phantasms floated
One by one
Disappearing into the arid air
He extended his arm
Embracing her curves
And stroking her back
There had been girls
Before
Women he had slept with
But she was different
Somehow
He wanted her to be happy
As he gazed in her eyes
He saw the incarnation 
Of geishas or was it Mother Theresa?
Having forgotten
Taking her in his arms
Draining her of her strength
She didn't resist
The first time they met
He had slept with her
Unlike the icky local girls
She moved with him
Hearts aligned
While her hips thrust forward
Came against him
Simultaneously
He strove to quiet himself
Reluctant to let her go
Wanting more
Falling asleep with her loose hair
Held tightly in his hand
Both breathed peacefully
With faint smiles on their lips.

Monarch Whispers

Why am I even fucking here
God seems to be wasting
A life on me
I am not living
Only surviving
Instead of thriving
Doing everything right
Minus a mistake or two
Out of the fog
Seeing clearly
The shit I can't take
Anymore
With your almost fatherly kisses
You wish to adorn me with
Hawaiian leis
Dobbing moisture on my lips
From the rim of the glass
You circle with your pointer finger
Making melodies
Where there is no saxophone
Commanding silence
As we watch the game
I used to think
You would gather me in your arms
As I collapsed onto your chest
A lifetime of weeping spent
Before you dried my cheeks
And made me laugh again
Who am I
Who are you
I am me
My self esteem looks distorted
But it is strong
Stronger than ever
And I leave you now
My wet complexion
Drenched cheeks
Bloodshot eyes
I am nothing

Ludicrous Existence

Stalking us everyday
Although we acknowledge
And accept
And weep
When we grow accustomed
To one's presence
Words
Voice
Thoughts
Laughter
Near or afar
And it swells and disappears
Sharply
Or like a balloon floating up off the white settee
Grieving begins
Takes over
Sinking us into the abysmal depths
Of depression
The hungry, dank existence
Running parallel with the Valley of Ashes
Like the River Styx
The wailing of souls
Lost
Grieving that which is still alive
Unconscionable cruelty
Misunderstood
Forsaken wench of perpetual desire
Our loved ones
Not forever
Move to pause
Daring you to see past the error
Of our ways
Trust
Embrace
Forgive
Celebrate
Your love
Give it freely
Once again
Steadfast
Eternal
Golden
Despite the loss we feel
We are among the living
And deep inside me
You shall live forever