Friday, July 18, 2014

The Past

It slips away
Without sentimentality
Or contempt
Some days
Out of the corner
Of my ears
I see
Places frequented
People persisting
Grounded in that which is familiar
And safe
The framework of my mind
No longer nostalgic
or commonplace
But no longer distant
Imploring me to let go
She slips
Receding a few feet
Into the sea
Each and every year
Sometimes we romanticize it
Other times we set fire to her bed
Of rocks
Stoned in the conscience
Of those who rebuke
And say I can't understand
Because I haven't tried it
Today I reminisce
That is all
Muted by new circumstances
Though grounded still
I grow frail
Death indeed stalks us every day
I remain afraid
By the choices I make
Or fail to make
Seeing that which is tangible
Pass away
As the mind overwhelms me
I feel myself longing for what is
In front of me
Nothing is perfect
Though in some ways
I strive to climb out
Of my ordinary abyss
And accept that it's no one's fault
People change
And I must move forward
Sometimes I wonder
How long it would take to bleed
To  death
That may be the only way for him
To loosen the ties that bind
To let me go
Amicably
Nobody will remember me
When I'm gone
The transcendental plebeian
Whose effort wasn't good enough
No wonder she lives alone.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

City of Parks

Every map
is purely fiction
Every map
offers choices
Is it possible
to choose something beautiful
or am I trapped on
Liberty Lane?

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Flickerings

The patterns
Predicted themselves
As habits became ingrained
Mireya had been in the hospital
Since July 4
And he hadn't noticed
Not really anyway
He had a passion for giving
Just not to her anyway
Not capable
Stiff
Obligatory
Christening her with obligatory hellos
She lay alone
Fourth floor
No sparklers or fountains of color
Celebrating independence
On the outside
Pale
Haggard
Lonely
Agoraphobic at times
But inside her mind flickered
Dancing
With abstractions
Mainly black and white
Beanbag chair
Red
Closet
Kiss
Fear
Bike
Chain
Caught
Foot
Blood
Gravel
Hard
Cock
Suck
Damn it was so easy
Mireya went there
Remembering
Flickerings of a former life
A fantasy
Unfulfilled
Tempting
Wanting to be loved
Trying to survive...before....
That was before
The sweet nectar
From the oleander trees
Death did not reach her in time.

Lotus

Yes, it is here
For her
For Sydney
Grief
Presenting itself
It is her story
Her narrative
Unfolding
Not petal by petal
But in its entirety
For the first time
Her room
Empty,
Not merely unoccupied.

Earth Songs

As witnessed by her sins during the past year, morality must not always enter her psyche.  Sydney believes, however,  that each of us is crucified.  Perhaps her own crucifixion is the remorse and humiliation of living the life she has woven for herself. 

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

High Vibrations

Crystal chakras
From the Himalayas
Lining the collar
Time to find happiness
The kind that nourishes the soul
And pleasures the flesh
Why is life so difficult sometimes?
Not yielding to matters of the heart.
Overthinking
Succumbing to expectations
The ones she places on herself
Masterbating in the darkness
And in the light
A maid comes
She cleans up
After Thanksgiving
The baster washed and dried
The gravy boat put away
In the china cabinet
The guests have gone home
She sits on the edge
Of her bed
Twisting realities
Cutting herself
Deeper
Fucking her pussy
And her ass
Better in the abstract
Making her cum

The solitary alpha gone beta
Even she is not without hope.