Smoldering

Shhhhh
Let you in a a little secret
The promised land
Is here
Right before us
It's been here all along
Staring at you
In jeweled mockery
Some days
Tis the secret
Digging deeper into myself
Finding out who I am
I've always been here
Smoldering
Unwavering
No longer elusive
Why was I waiting to win the lottery
Or lose the weight
Or get my ducks in a row?
Ancestral baggage follows
When you turn sixteen
You can get your license
When you're eighteen
Time to vote
Age twenty one
Time to drink baby
When do I lose my virginity
Get engaged
Marry
Have a baby
Or two
Or three
When?
The clock is ticking
Smoldering
When can I be happy?
When I'm older, if I'm good,
Christmas is coming
Maybe in your birthday
Later
We have to be patient
Well fuck patience
Fuck another passage in my life
What do I have to look forward to?
Retirement?
Death?
Cancer?
I'm good enough now
Happiness is within me
I'm happy now
And still
And sacred
At peace
Unplugging from mass consciousness
Dancing naked in the rain
Smoldering yet into tomorrow.

Spring

What do you want my pet
The taste of dominance from afar
What is it you desire from me
My authority released yet again
Tell me how you feel
Do you want to whimper for me
Beg me for your release
Feel the cat o nine tails
Whisking across your skin
Pleasuring not chastising
Or would you rather take my
affectionate offering
Hot wax dripping on your breasts
When all is said and done
And we are reunited
For the first or the last
Ecstasy will be mine to give
You will have no choice
But know in my head
I hear your voice
And serve you without restraint
I only ask
For your continued trust
As you nervously
Taste with your begging eyes
Surrendering to the sub within

Stranded

In a flood of strangers
You've longed to know me
Barging through the crowd
Up to where I stand. 

Your eyes meet mine
As mine do yours
But you're unable to reach me
There are too many people

We have each other in our sight though
Communicating without speaking words
Our tongues silent
But arms desperate to embrace

It's now raining
The rain pelts my skin
I imagine the raindrops are your hands
I hope you imagine touching my skin

Though we see each other
And feel each other
We can't swim against the current
Know I hear you

Your waves pound against my flesh
Beat against my breasts
Bruise my inner thighs
Moistening the folds of my skin

The conch shell is ready
To meet the imprint of my lips
Summoning the boys
One boy
To assert his dominance again

Oh Adam

Restless feet
And dim directions
Crying voices
Vague reflections
A family in crisis
A mother in pain
Anemic father
Children strained
If she chooses death
Her ashes remain
Memories of Eve
Won't be in vain
As she wanders the road
After her last repast
The voices whisper
They are her last
Silence and time
Have led her here
Expelled from the garden
Naked with fear
And neither the breath of the wind
Or the fire of the sun
Will animate the body
Once the soul is undone.

X, Y, and Z

Wandering alone
Over the soft earth
Of my nothingness
The one filled with quagmires and
Dutch elm disease
I utter incoherent thoughts
Cold and feverish
Once again
Waiting for the calm to crystallize
And the barriers that bind my mind
To release
Transforming the satyrs and the sadness
Slowing the anger
That devours my longing
And opening myself to love
That surrounds me
Embracing my sorrow
Wiping my tears
Keeping me alive for another
Night
Writhing in darkness
As my sanity is consumed
Over and over again
My knees scrape along the jagged rocks
The fertilized eggs
Giving birth to my fears
You hold the torch to my salvation.

Sweet Juxtaposition

Tender breathing
From the little babe
Sleeping in my bed
Whispering innocence
With each inhalation
I breathe too
Forced breaths
Shouting plagues
Of experience
Pained
A fixed mindset
Unable to grow
Or prosper
Privileged heiress
On satin sheets
With a corset
Much too tight
Immortality no longer
On my radar
Ponce de Leon's fountain of
Youth
An illusion
Bram Stoker's
Dracula
Without blood
No fresh supplies of youthful
Vitality
Instead senility
Suspicions
Paranoia
Bingo
I have a bingo
No good
Where are my pills?
I want a lion
And a lamb
We're out of lambs?
Figures.

Duplicity

You left me crying
In my bed
I was going to
Ease the pain
By eating fried okra
Or deep fried cheese curds
Until I remembered
That piercing heartburn
That left me hunched over
Clutching my chest
Gasping for air
Instead I close my eyes
Dreaming of happier days
Knowing that I will be
All right
Someday
But that someday
Looms in the distance
Taunting me still
For now
I am alone
Unhappy and afraid
Trusting no one
Not even myself

Spirit Hear Me

Hopi rain bird spirit
Hear my cries
Bring forth a life worth living
Hopi sun and cloud Kachina
I lift her fears to you
Bring her peace and days of sunshine
Hopi rain bird spirit
Thank you for your blessings
Your abundance great
All over the earth
From the turtles of the Pueblo
Isleta Pueblo rain birds too
Showering joys upon your troubled mind
The Hohokam load carrier visits
Arm in arm with the Apache
And the Sun Chiefs of the Pueblo
The water serpents swim
In ceremonial unison
While Miembres Deer eat any vegetation
They can find
The gambel quail adorn my pottery
The dinner plate where I lift my fork
Used to the way I am
Yet hard to hold back the river
Such is the paradox in which we live
Acoma Pueblo pictures comfort me
Ancient Hohokam birds fly
Some without wings
Water birds pecking for food
In the Rio Grande river
Crickets chirp
Dragonflies appear
One must always know
What one wants
Growth
I hear the Hohokam flute playing
Summoning joy
Omens are good
My soul immortal
Mythology and religion unite
Deviating from conformity
Chief Seattle I am here
"There is no death...only a change
Of worlds."
Oh great sun!
Oh great moon! 
Emissaries of my spirit.
Surely we would perish without you
Givers of life
Keepers of the night
Father Sky
Mother Earth
I bow before you
Not as idol gods
But as keepers of harmony
And balance of life
Among all kingdoms
Catfish
Grasshopper
Owl
Fish
Pigeon
Buffalo
Bear
I feel your strength
San Ildefonso water birds
Santa Domingo Pueblo goats
Aztec parrots
Miembres ram
Eagles
Your flamboyant gaze
From the heavens
Gives me strength
And fortitude on this new day
New year
Alpha
Omega
Yin
Yang
Life
Death
Inspiring me
So I may live
And give
Forgiveness
The earth red
Mingles with the black
And the white
Shaping my dreams
Hanging them on lonely clouds
Just out of reach
For if realized
All would be disappointment
And I want to go on living
At least until the end of creation.

Yesterday

I don't give a shit about
The clothes you wear
Dad's rags
Chantilly lace
Black Converse
A rhinestone cross
I love you as much as I
Loved you yesterday
Through the looking glass
I see life in me
Doing my magic
Feeling better than I have
In my entire life
Pouring out of me
The rabbit within me
Celebrating
No longer dating a ghost
Or gazing at the green light
At the end of the dock
That one in fiction
Can't lose her again
The ventilator breathes
Though it's my fight
Teddy has been ripped away
It needs to be over
Though I'm still here
Looking back at me
Dancing between arrivals
Departures
Standbys
Promising you we'll move
In the same direction
Inconvenient to have
Fallen in love
Torn in half
The beauty of life
Winning
And losing
The time has come
To discover
Where I belong