What If

What if tonight were the night?
It could be.
I'd get blamed for being selfish
Leaving my children
The cowardly thing to do.
But what if?
The pain would be gone
And I would be free.
The tears would dry up
My acquaintances wouldn't
Miss me
And the people who pretended
They loved me would whisper
In hushed tones
Saying she had a dysfunctional
Marriage
After a few weeks the quiet voices
Wouldn't talk anymore
The sympathy cards would stop coming
And they'd go on living
Just like they did
When I was here
Staring bleakly into the sunset
Until it was their time
To return to the earth
Let the composting begin
We all must go sometime.