Past Behind

Had a taste
Of leaving the past behind
But when my face is pressed
Up against the window
I cry
Knowing my journey
Can't be hurried
Swamped at times by the mind
That wastes the life
One longs to live
Trying to rediscover
That who I really am
And want to be
I feel the slow transformation
As my nipples are strung high up
To the ceiling
In all my confusion
I find sanity
If only for a little while
Before the waves wash over me
Moment by moment
Breath by breath
Spontaneous encounters
With you
Free from illusions
And material success
Tranquil
Relaxed
Long forgotten senses
Reminding me what I had forgotten
Fighting
Floundering
Questioning
Holding on
While letting go.