Still Fragile

Sometimes I think I can come out of this
But today I am far from clarity
My children are starting to suffer
I see my son freaking out
When he can't figure out a math problem
I don't get this he shouts
It's wrong my husband says
9 and 9 is 0
9 and 9 is eighteen
I lay on my bed
With the mattress cover off
Pretending I can't hear
Yet I hear it all
Still in my red bath towel
From an hour ago
Feeling alone
Though I know you are with me
Trying to offer support from afar
But you are helpless
And I still wonder why you hold on
When I am dangling
And struggle to see the light
A deep cavern separates us
Yet we mingle at the bottom of the pit
Together
While you guard my secrets
And hold out hope
That healing will come
One day for both of us.