Loss of Innocence

I remember the shadow

Being out of it

Seeing world's you have never known about

Camping in Portland

With a man I had just met

Wanting to be loved

Feeling connected

But not in love

Loving

But not liking

Abusive

I don't remember much

Disassociation I think they call it

I remember him yelling at the warden

And me with my soul

Detached from my physical being

I remember walking

Away from the tent

Away from his truck

In the rain

He could have killed me

But he didn't

Too much gamma exposure

Or was it esoteric poetry

I feel like he drugged me

And penetrated me

But I don't remember

He caught me in the rain

Brought me back to the tent

Eventually I got away

Came back to Wisconsin

Never saw him again

My dad was right

This man was trouble

And I was his victim

But I lived to tell about it

Yet I remain silent

After all these years

In the fog