Painted Lady

I need you now
Please stay right beside me
Crying out
Feeling desperate
Alienated
Want to curl up on the couch
Next to you and your wife
You don't have to talk
Just reach out your hand--
One maybe two
Teach me how to knit
Or crochet
Let me play Suduko
Or struggle through a crossword puzzle
Throw a Bible in my lap
Or gently place it there
Genesis
Exodus
Leviticus
Numbers
Deuteronomy
Joshua
Judges
Ruth
Samuel 1
Samuel 2
I don't remember the rest
But it's my fault
I blame myself
For letting fantasies swirl
Around in my head
And today was such a good day
I heard you smile
And laugh
And tell me you loved me
I must have been hearing things
Listening more closely it was you--
Sobbing
Feeling angry, cheated, and betrayed
"A fucking whore" you scream
Yeah that's me all right
I turned 19 and didn't even know
How to insert a tampon
The diagram looked like I should
Put it in the side of my body
Fucking whore I am
Waited until I was married before having sex
Fucking whore I am
Just call me Jezebel
Throw me out of your house
Before you can forgive
And let wild dogs tear at my flesh
I am a whore abandoned by
Everyone including God
Still screaming
"I am a bloody fucking whore"
As I illuminate my transgressions
For all to see
Crying
Sobbing
Imploring
It's too late my friend
Just let me put on my lipstick
Before I die.